Celebration & Loss

It was my 91 year old friend's birthday the other day. He's now living at the Veteran's Hospital Palliative Care Center so I made him a cake to share with lots of people. I thought of people's allergies, I thought of his multiple brain tumors and the recent strokes he'd had. I thought of the swirl of people now around his life--he'd lived alone for 30 years until now. So I decided to bake a
'sad cake'. I figured he'd get a kick out of my telling him the story of how the cake got its name and sure enough he and all the folks I invited in to join us giggled and laughed out loud. As we sang to him it was so clear that this ritual of eating on special days (birthday, anniversary, etc.) brings such comfort to people. In its own way celebratory cake makes it possible for us to fully participate in the joy of life as we face death. The 'sad cake' name? Came about because it's a cake that looks absolutely full and beautiful as it comes out of the oven and then as it cools falls flat and isn't so beautiful any more. Sprinkled coconut all over the frosted cake softens the blow.